About Thinking About What People Think About Us at Work
There are times when we should concern ourselves about what people think
about us at work, and times when we should not. Take the typical annual
review for example.
Many employers review their employees on a formal basis. If you've been
through the review process, you may have experienced a complex of
emotions ranging from eager, maybe nervous, anticipation to outright
fear. My own experience with these has been mixed. Usually I've pretty
much known what to expect, although I must say I've also been a bit
surprised at times (good and bad).
It makes some sense to be concerned with reviews at work. They might
give us an idea how we're doing, a sense of whether we've got a bright
future at a particular job, maybe even how much of a bonus we might get
this year. So when it comes to reviews, it's a practical matter that
we're concerned with what our reviewer thinks of us.
But apart from these review situations, we need to be wary about caring
too much about what people think of us. We're particularly concerned
here with the danger of "human respect." A gentleman named Frank Duff explains the danger thusly: "It
sets up ridicule and unpopularity as the thing most to be avoided even
at the risk of offending against truth and principle. Beginning in small
things, if constantly yielded to, Human Respect brings about a general
lowering of principle." He uses the example of not blessing yourself at meals outside the home.
The workplace can be a real challenge for many of us when it come to
human respect. Perhaps these words of St. Alphonsus Liguori will help us
here, as we continue our journey with Our Lord during Lent by
meditating on the Stations of the Cross.
Station 9: Jesus Falls a Third Time
St. Alphonsus writes:
Consider the third fall of Jesus Christ. His weakness was extreme,
and the cruelty of His executioners was excessive, who tried to hasten
His steps when He had scarcely strength to move.
Ah, my outraged
Jesus, by the merits of the weakness Thou didst suffer in going to
Calvary, give me strength sufficient to conquer all human respect, and
all my wicked passions, which have led me to despise Thy friendship. I
love Thee, Jesus my love, with my whole heart; I repent of having
offended Thee. Never permit me to offend Thee again. Grant that I may
love Thee always; and then do with me what Thou wilt.
Relating this to our work day:
Can you think of examples where you've succumbed to human respect in the
workplace? I know I can. Occasionally, by the grace of God, I've been
able to overcome this tendency. One time an informal comment, during a
break in a business meeting, by a Jewish colleague implied that
Ukrainians collaborated with the Nazis in exterminating Jews during
World War II. He didn't say some Ukrainians, but clearly implied that all
Ukrainians were anti-Semitic. Because my wife is of Ukrainian ancestry,
I have some familiarity both with Ukrainian people, as well as some
knowledge of their history. I gently and respectfully corrected this
fellow. Another time, a professional colleague noted a book claiming
that Pope Pius XII collaborated with the Nazis that had received some
notice some years ago. Again, gently and respectfully, I countered the
scurrilous claims made in this book. Frankly, I was bit nervous in both
cases, but my comments were taken in the same spirit they were given.
The point here isn't to pat myself on the back. Far from it. More times
than not, over the course of my work life, I've allowed human respect to
infect my words and behavior. Perhaps meditating on Our Lord's third
fall will help change that.
We conclude today's thoughts with the simple, moving exhortation with
which St. Alphonsus Liguori approaches each Station of the Cross:
Comments