A Sunday Thought About Staying Sane During This Mess

2020's now firmly in the past. 2021's gaining traction. 

In 2020 we posted a series of reflections on the "C-Virus Mess" (as we call it) that created such mayhem starting in March. The disorder and dysfunction that descended on our every day lives did not spare Holy Mother Church. No Mass, no Holy Communion, no Confession - basically no Sacraments - for many months. Restoration was slow and, for the most part partial. The Sunday after Christmas Day reminded me just how bizarre the efforts to re-start regular Mass and - to some degree - other Sacraments. I tried to refill our holy water bottle after Mass. The Holy Water canister that sits on the side of the sanctuary by one of the exit doors was empty. Could it possibly be that holy water is considered a spreader of COVID? I'll forego any further comment in the interest of maintaining some peace on our Sunday.

Now that 2021 has arrived, we find that the C-Virus Mess remains. We can add to this the events that unfolded on the Feast of the Epiphany as well. Here in the City of New York, restaurants have been forced to close once again - despite the early stages of the administering of the vaccinations that many believe will put an end to the disorder and dysfunction. (The jury's still out on that. We'll wait and see.)

However this Year of Our Lord 2021 unfolds, uncertainty about our future and this Mess remains firmly in place. The consequences of January 6th have begun to manifest. (NB: The Epiphany celebrates the "manifestation" of Christ as Messiah, but this is far different sort of manifestation.) The ultimate consequences will soon enough become clearer. But we can be sure of one thing: It's all been and continues to be part of God's Plan. And, as is not infrequently the case, that very fact can serve to puzzled, even disturb us. Can God have really wanted all this?

I have no answer to this question. On the one hand, I've always been aware of the mystery of God's Will and the pretty much unfathomable "logic" behind how my life goes - in some way a part of God's eternal Plan. That understanding was and continues to unfold as I study the tenets of my Faith and our Holy Religion. Such study, when consistently pursued will yield a degree of understanding - at least in part. But the intellect and the emotions don't always work together in seamless fashion. Our minds may grasp and appreciate reality, but that doesn't mean we have to like it. And when we don't particularly care for what's happening to us and our loved ones, our feelings may inspire a kind of rebellion against that which can appear not only unpleasant but unjust.

Such may have been the case for some of us at times during this C-Virus Mess.

Fortunately, God's grace has gently dissuaded the rebellious feelings from pressing their case. Prayer, study, meditation, good spiritual reading, pursued over many years have taught lessons that came to bear on our deeper understanding of the Mess. Don't ask me for an explanation beyond the recognition that God's ways aren't always our ways.

This ongoing lesson got a bit boost a couple of years ago. We lost one of our children, only recently married, and only recently the father of a beautiful girl. He died as the result of a massive stroke - one unexpected and sudden. We've posted some thoughts about this in the past. We bring it up again because we learned a lot about God's Will and His Plan. By a process that can only be explained by the workings of grace, rather than rebel against God, we learned to accept His Will, even in this. Again, I can't really explain this, at least not in few words. Frankly, I still don't understand how our Father managed to keep us sane and Catholic through it all. But He did.

That's been maybe the biggest reason why we've been able to maintain our sanity despite the disorder and dysfunction this Mess has heaped on us. It hasn't been easy. We've had our ups and downs. But the Peace of Christ, which He granted to us in the days after our son's stroke, leading up to his death, has been a blessing of proportions as incalculable and as they are inexplicable.

On this particular Sunday, the beautiful strains of the Missa Angelis and other chants play softly in the background. The causes of the Mess that brought us disorder and dysfunction remain at best partially explained and understood. The cause of the death of our child remain ever more mysterious. But we keep waking up everyday with hope in our hearts despite it all.

It helps keep us sane during this Mess.