#MeToo and Women in the Workplace - Part 2
Today we continue with our discussion of women in the workplace as precipitated by the recent #MeToo movement. Last time our focus was on appropriate behavior towards women in general. But, of course, we don't encounter "women in general" at work. We encounter and/or work with individuals, each of which has a distinct appearance and personality. Of these, we'll turn our attention to women who can - and sometimes do - present a clear and distinct threat to the welfare of our eternal souls. Eccliasticus 9: 1-13 can serve as a useful resource here. We chose these verses because they emphasize caution when it comes to our relationships with women.
As a rule, caution helps us avoid danger or mistakes. As Catholic men at work, it's the right way to approach our interactions, never mind our relationships, with women in the workplace. To be clear, we're not saying that caution shouldn't apply to our relationships with men. But let's please recognize that women, as members of the opposite sex, do present unique dangers. Yes, I realize that we live in a world that continually hammers us with the idea that men and women either are the same or at least should be treated the same. But even if we agree that in matters of compensation and career advancement the two sexes should receive the same treatment, it doesn't follow that they are in all ways the same, nor that they should be treated the same in all circumstances. The fact is, men and women affect each other in ways that extend beyond professional boundaries. And it's there that the danger lies. Ecclesiasticus pulls no punches in delineating those dangers. It considers relationships ranging from marriage to the sort of sinful behaviors we described last time. While many of us could use some guidance and counsel when it comes to our relationship with our wives, we'll focus here on relationships between men an women who are not married to each other.
Caution should rightly be applied first and foremost to situations that could lead to illicit sexual relationships, Eccliasticus expands on this. For example, if you're single and happen to find yourself attracted to a woman at work, we're counseled to "Give not the power of they soul to a woman," and "Look not upon a woman that hath a mind for many." Let's look at these in more detail.
There are women who look to exert undue influence and control over a man for any number of reasons: You have money; you have power; you have good looks that somehow make you an attractive "catch"; or any number of other reasons. Such women will attempt to manipulate you by their looks, personality, charm, favors, etc. Rather than being focused on love, marriage, family, they want what they want and will use any means to get it. You just happen to be in that category of "what they want."
As for a woman with "a mind for many," well, if you're looking for a companion with which to have innocent fun, such a woman might fit the bill. But when it comes to one-on-one relationships, it's a rare case where what might have initially have been innocent fun doesn't turn into something serious and, yes, dangerous. Of course, if you're looking for a relationship that leads to marriage, it should go without saying that a woman with "a mind for many" isn't your best candidate.
(We'll skip over the reference to "harlots." If that's an issue for you, please seek spiritual, maybe even psychological counsel.)
"Turn away thy face from a woman dressed up, and gaze not about upon another's beauty" calls to mind our discussion last time about the importance of "custody of the eyes." The fact is, some may women dress or act provocatively. You know it when you see it or hear it. Avoid it. Custody of the eyes will be your first, and ideally last, line of defense here. (If you click on the link we posted last time, you'll see that proper custody of the eyes can be effective not only against visual temptations, but really any source of temptation that may come - intended or unintended - from a woman.) And in case you're not convinced that such an attraction is best avoided, you can take this to the bank: "For many have perished by the beauty of a woman, and hereby lust is enkindled as a fire..." Got it?
When it comes to those already married, please don't let your guard down with a married woman - whether you're married or single. While even conversation that's too "familiar" can become problematic, at the very least follow this wise counsel: "And strive not with her over wine, lest thy heart decline towards her, and by thy blood thou fall into destruction." Think: Company party, off-site (especially overnight) company meetings which include opportunities to socialize, etc. Read what Ecclesiasticus has to say here. All I can say is, it's spot on.
Wrapping up: First, when it comes to what your company regards as "appropriate behavior," be prudent and make it your business to know exactly what they mean. If certain words or gestures are specifically "verboten," don't say or do them, even if some of these might be considered ridiculous by a right-thinking person.
Next, we Catholic men have (or should have) a solid sense of how to behave in the presence of women, and that includes women in the workplace who may work for us, for whom we may work, or with whom we work as colleagues. While the dynamics of each of these three sorts of relationships may differ, you can still treat a woman with a respect and personal deference that incorporates your understanding that God created us, man and woman, and that the differences between us do indeed matter.
Finally, be cautious in the presence of women at work, especially in light of the dangers they present to a man. Re-read this and our previous post if you're still unsure about the nature of those dangers.
As a rule, caution helps us avoid danger or mistakes. As Catholic men at work, it's the right way to approach our interactions, never mind our relationships, with women in the workplace. To be clear, we're not saying that caution shouldn't apply to our relationships with men. But let's please recognize that women, as members of the opposite sex, do present unique dangers. Yes, I realize that we live in a world that continually hammers us with the idea that men and women either are the same or at least should be treated the same. But even if we agree that in matters of compensation and career advancement the two sexes should receive the same treatment, it doesn't follow that they are in all ways the same, nor that they should be treated the same in all circumstances. The fact is, men and women affect each other in ways that extend beyond professional boundaries. And it's there that the danger lies. Ecclesiasticus pulls no punches in delineating those dangers. It considers relationships ranging from marriage to the sort of sinful behaviors we described last time. While many of us could use some guidance and counsel when it comes to our relationship with our wives, we'll focus here on relationships between men an women who are not married to each other.
Caution should rightly be applied first and foremost to situations that could lead to illicit sexual relationships, Eccliasticus expands on this. For example, if you're single and happen to find yourself attracted to a woman at work, we're counseled to "Give not the power of they soul to a woman," and "Look not upon a woman that hath a mind for many." Let's look at these in more detail.
There are women who look to exert undue influence and control over a man for any number of reasons: You have money; you have power; you have good looks that somehow make you an attractive "catch"; or any number of other reasons. Such women will attempt to manipulate you by their looks, personality, charm, favors, etc. Rather than being focused on love, marriage, family, they want what they want and will use any means to get it. You just happen to be in that category of "what they want."
As for a woman with "a mind for many," well, if you're looking for a companion with which to have innocent fun, such a woman might fit the bill. But when it comes to one-on-one relationships, it's a rare case where what might have initially have been innocent fun doesn't turn into something serious and, yes, dangerous. Of course, if you're looking for a relationship that leads to marriage, it should go without saying that a woman with "a mind for many" isn't your best candidate.
(We'll skip over the reference to "harlots." If that's an issue for you, please seek spiritual, maybe even psychological counsel.)
"Turn away thy face from a woman dressed up, and gaze not about upon another's beauty" calls to mind our discussion last time about the importance of "custody of the eyes." The fact is, some may women dress or act provocatively. You know it when you see it or hear it. Avoid it. Custody of the eyes will be your first, and ideally last, line of defense here. (If you click on the link we posted last time, you'll see that proper custody of the eyes can be effective not only against visual temptations, but really any source of temptation that may come - intended or unintended - from a woman.) And in case you're not convinced that such an attraction is best avoided, you can take this to the bank: "For many have perished by the beauty of a woman, and hereby lust is enkindled as a fire..." Got it?
When it comes to those already married, please don't let your guard down with a married woman - whether you're married or single. While even conversation that's too "familiar" can become problematic, at the very least follow this wise counsel: "And strive not with her over wine, lest thy heart decline towards her, and by thy blood thou fall into destruction." Think: Company party, off-site (especially overnight) company meetings which include opportunities to socialize, etc. Read what Ecclesiasticus has to say here. All I can say is, it's spot on.
Wrapping up: First, when it comes to what your company regards as "appropriate behavior," be prudent and make it your business to know exactly what they mean. If certain words or gestures are specifically "verboten," don't say or do them, even if some of these might be considered ridiculous by a right-thinking person.
Next, we Catholic men have (or should have) a solid sense of how to behave in the presence of women, and that includes women in the workplace who may work for us, for whom we may work, or with whom we work as colleagues. While the dynamics of each of these three sorts of relationships may differ, you can still treat a woman with a respect and personal deference that incorporates your understanding that God created us, man and woman, and that the differences between us do indeed matter.
Finally, be cautious in the presence of women at work, especially in light of the dangers they present to a man. Re-read this and our previous post if you're still unsure about the nature of those dangers.
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