#MeToo and Women in the Workplace
We're going to revisit something we haven't talked about in a while: women in the workplace. This latest round was precipitated by the so-called #MeToo movement. While the "#MeToo" movement has caused various enterprises to re-assess their policies regarding appropriate behavior, our focus will be on how we Catholic men interact with women in the workplace.
As Catholic gentlemen, we should already have a sense of right and wrong behavior towards women. However, I'm not so certain that our Catholic sense can completely insulate us from the sturm und drang that erupted with the Harvey Weinstein revelations and all that has since ensued. It would be prudent to pay attention to whatever your company puts forth as appropriate and inappropriate behavior and conduct yourself accordingly. For example, even before #MeToo erupted, in some circles it was, and is, considered inappropriate for a man to hold a door open for a woman. Simple politeness is interpreted as somehow countermanding the idea of "equality" in the workplace. Absurd as it may seem, be aware of issues like this. (It think it's still OK to hold the door for a man, but I wouldn't count on it!)
Stepping away from #MeToo, a rather jarring example of wrong behavior popped up the other day when I watched the award-winning film The Apartment. Among other themes, the movie explores the relationship of men and women in the workplace. One such relationship involves a male executive and a rather lowly (elevator operator) female employee. The guy, and other similar male executives, make it a practice to commit adultery and/or fornication with various women. The interactions between the sexes did seem a bit "dated," but are likely somewhat accurate given the times (the 1950s). (By the way, the script, plot, and acting were first rate.) I don't think you'd need a refresher course in your Catholic religion, or the counsel of a spiritual director to know that what was going on was wrong. Of course, many folks theses days evaluate right and wrong based on the specific circumstances surrounding any action. This blanket approach is known as "Situational Ethics." While circumstances can at times mitigate or amplify the guilt or innocence of the individuals involved, we Catholics understand that adultery and fornication are always wrong. They can never be right. Let's hope we all agree here. (If not, then maybe you do need good refresher course in your Catholic religion and/or access to a solid spiritual director.)
But if we do all agree here, there are other sorts of behaviors that - #MeToo or no #MeToo - should raise a red flag for us Catholic men at work. A simple example of this would be leering at women. "Leering" means "to look or gaze in an unpleasant, malicious, or lascivious way." Here we're talking about "lascivious," which means "feeling or revealing an overt and often offensive sexual desire." I would hope that, when we see an attractive woman, none of us engages in this sort of behavior. But "leering" has a cousin that some might consider more "innocent." For want of a better word, we're talking about staring.
If we see any sort of attractive object, it's only natural for us to fix our gaze on or stare at it to assess and admire it. A beautiful work of art, a classic or fancy car, a finely crafted piece of furniture might serve as common examples here. Some men might lump an attractive woman into this class of "attractive objects." But, of course, a woman is not an object. She's a person. It's an important distinction.
Of course, it's only natural that an attractive woman might almost command our attention sometimes. However, we should distinguish here between a woman endowed with natural physical beauty and one who, for whatever reason, exudes some sort of sexual attraction. We can certainly recognize and appreciate natural physical beauty without indulging in impure thoughts. Sexual attraction, though, usually poses a problem. Of course, the two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. Because of that, a good rule of thumb would be to tread carefully when confronted with an attractive woman.
Actually, we can do better than "tread carefully." Our Church once actively taught a traditional practice known as "custody of the eyes." You don't hear much about this anymore, but that doesn't mean it's not something to consider. In the case of the attractive woman walking by, practicing custody of the eyes simply means quickly averting your gaze. It greatly helps to minimize the temptation to impure thoughts, which can bubble up from staring at a tempting object. Ideally, you develop the habit of exercising custody of the eyes in many areas, not just when an attractive woman comes into view.
(If you're not familiar with this venerable practice, I found a credible, more detailed explanation of it HERE. You'll also find good suggestions on how to develop the habit of exercising custody of the eyes as a matter of course.)
Focusing specifically on the workplace, if you develop the habit of keeping custody of your eyes as a general practice, you'll likely avoid most of what your company deems "inappropriate behavior." More importantly, you'll bolster your resistance to the temptations that arise from inordinate staring. Such staring can easily lead initially to impure thoughts. And, if not corralled quickly, those impure thoughts can progress to more sinful behaviors which likely don't need further explanation here.
Next time we'll expand on our discussion with the help of Eccliasticus 9: 1-13, which has a lot to teach us about women, much of it applicable to the workplace.
As Catholic gentlemen, we should already have a sense of right and wrong behavior towards women. However, I'm not so certain that our Catholic sense can completely insulate us from the sturm und drang that erupted with the Harvey Weinstein revelations and all that has since ensued. It would be prudent to pay attention to whatever your company puts forth as appropriate and inappropriate behavior and conduct yourself accordingly. For example, even before #MeToo erupted, in some circles it was, and is, considered inappropriate for a man to hold a door open for a woman. Simple politeness is interpreted as somehow countermanding the idea of "equality" in the workplace. Absurd as it may seem, be aware of issues like this. (It think it's still OK to hold the door for a man, but I wouldn't count on it!)
Stepping away from #MeToo, a rather jarring example of wrong behavior popped up the other day when I watched the award-winning film The Apartment. Among other themes, the movie explores the relationship of men and women in the workplace. One such relationship involves a male executive and a rather lowly (elevator operator) female employee. The guy, and other similar male executives, make it a practice to commit adultery and/or fornication with various women. The interactions between the sexes did seem a bit "dated," but are likely somewhat accurate given the times (the 1950s). (By the way, the script, plot, and acting were first rate.) I don't think you'd need a refresher course in your Catholic religion, or the counsel of a spiritual director to know that what was going on was wrong. Of course, many folks theses days evaluate right and wrong based on the specific circumstances surrounding any action. This blanket approach is known as "Situational Ethics." While circumstances can at times mitigate or amplify the guilt or innocence of the individuals involved, we Catholics understand that adultery and fornication are always wrong. They can never be right. Let's hope we all agree here. (If not, then maybe you do need good refresher course in your Catholic religion and/or access to a solid spiritual director.)
But if we do all agree here, there are other sorts of behaviors that - #MeToo or no #MeToo - should raise a red flag for us Catholic men at work. A simple example of this would be leering at women. "Leering" means "to look or gaze in an unpleasant, malicious, or lascivious way." Here we're talking about "lascivious," which means "feeling or revealing an overt and often offensive sexual desire." I would hope that, when we see an attractive woman, none of us engages in this sort of behavior. But "leering" has a cousin that some might consider more "innocent." For want of a better word, we're talking about staring.
If we see any sort of attractive object, it's only natural for us to fix our gaze on or stare at it to assess and admire it. A beautiful work of art, a classic or fancy car, a finely crafted piece of furniture might serve as common examples here. Some men might lump an attractive woman into this class of "attractive objects." But, of course, a woman is not an object. She's a person. It's an important distinction.
Of course, it's only natural that an attractive woman might almost command our attention sometimes. However, we should distinguish here between a woman endowed with natural physical beauty and one who, for whatever reason, exudes some sort of sexual attraction. We can certainly recognize and appreciate natural physical beauty without indulging in impure thoughts. Sexual attraction, though, usually poses a problem. Of course, the two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. Because of that, a good rule of thumb would be to tread carefully when confronted with an attractive woman.
Actually, we can do better than "tread carefully." Our Church once actively taught a traditional practice known as "custody of the eyes." You don't hear much about this anymore, but that doesn't mean it's not something to consider. In the case of the attractive woman walking by, practicing custody of the eyes simply means quickly averting your gaze. It greatly helps to minimize the temptation to impure thoughts, which can bubble up from staring at a tempting object. Ideally, you develop the habit of exercising custody of the eyes in many areas, not just when an attractive woman comes into view.
(If you're not familiar with this venerable practice, I found a credible, more detailed explanation of it HERE. You'll also find good suggestions on how to develop the habit of exercising custody of the eyes as a matter of course.)
Focusing specifically on the workplace, if you develop the habit of keeping custody of your eyes as a general practice, you'll likely avoid most of what your company deems "inappropriate behavior." More importantly, you'll bolster your resistance to the temptations that arise from inordinate staring. Such staring can easily lead initially to impure thoughts. And, if not corralled quickly, those impure thoughts can progress to more sinful behaviors which likely don't need further explanation here.
Next time we'll expand on our discussion with the help of Eccliasticus 9: 1-13, which has a lot to teach us about women, much of it applicable to the workplace.
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