Do You Worry Too Much About What People Think About You at Work?
There are times when we should concern ourselves about what people think about us at work, and times when we should not. Take the typical annual review for example.
Many employers review their employees on a formal basis. If you've been through the review process, you may have experienced a complex of emotions ranging from eager, maybe nervous, anticipation to outright fear. My own experience with these has been mixed. Usually I've pretty much known what to expect, although I must say I've also been a bit surprised at times (good and bad).
It makes some sense to be concerned with reviews at work. They might give us an idea how we're doing, a sense of whether we've got a bright future at a particular job, maybe even how much of a bonus we might get this year. So when it comes to reviews, it's a practical matter that we're concerned with what our reviewer thinks of us.
But apart from these review situations, we need to be wary about caring too much about what people think of us. We're particularly concerned here with the danger of "human respect." A gentleman named Frank Duff explains the danger thusly: "It sets up ridicule and unpopularity as the thing most to be avoided even at the risk of offending against truth and principle. Beginning in small things, if constantly yielded to, Human Respect brings about a general lowering of principle." He uses the example of not blessing yourself at meals outside the home.
The workplace can be a real challenge for many of us when it come to human respect. Perhaps these words of St. Alphonsus Liguori will help us here, as we continue our journey with Our Lord during Lent by meditating on the Stations of the Cross.
Station 9: Jesus Falls a Third Time
St. Alphonsus writes:
Consider the third fall of Jesus Christ. His weakness was extreme, and the cruelty of His executioners was excessive, who tried to hasten His steps when He had scarcely strength to move.
Ah, my outraged Jesus, by the merits of the weakness Thou didst suffer in going to Calvary, give me strength sufficient to conquer all human respect, and all my wicked passions, which have led me to despise Thy friendship. I love Thee, Jesus my love, with my whole heart; I repent of having offended Thee. Never permit me to offend Thee again. Grant that I may love Thee always; and then do with me what Thou wilt.
Relating this to our work day:
Can you think of examples where you've succumbed to human respect in the workplace? I know I can. Occasionally, by the grace of God, I've been able to overcome this tendency. One time an informal comment, during a break in a business meeting, by a Jewish colleague implied that Ukrainians collaborated with the Nazis in exterminating Jews during World War II. He didn't say some Ukrainians, but clearly implied that all Ukrainians were anti-Semitic. Because my wife is of Ukrainian ancestry, I have some familiarity both with Ukrainian people, as well as some knowledge of their history. I gently and respectfully corrected this fellow. Another time, a professional colleague noted a book claiming that Pope Pius XII collaborated with the Nazis that had received some notice some years ago. Again, gently and respectfully, I countered the scurrilous claims made in this book. Frankly, I was bit nervous in both cases, but my comments were taken in the same spirit they were given.
The point here isn't to pat myself on the back. Far from it. More times than not, over the course of my work life, I've allowed human respect to infect my words and behavior. Perhaps meditating on Our Lord's third fall will help change that.
We conclude today's thoughts with the simple, moving exhortation with which St. Alphonsus Liguori approaches each Station of the Cross:
Many employers review their employees on a formal basis. If you've been through the review process, you may have experienced a complex of emotions ranging from eager, maybe nervous, anticipation to outright fear. My own experience with these has been mixed. Usually I've pretty much known what to expect, although I must say I've also been a bit surprised at times (good and bad).
It makes some sense to be concerned with reviews at work. They might give us an idea how we're doing, a sense of whether we've got a bright future at a particular job, maybe even how much of a bonus we might get this year. So when it comes to reviews, it's a practical matter that we're concerned with what our reviewer thinks of us.
But apart from these review situations, we need to be wary about caring too much about what people think of us. We're particularly concerned here with the danger of "human respect." A gentleman named Frank Duff explains the danger thusly: "It sets up ridicule and unpopularity as the thing most to be avoided even at the risk of offending against truth and principle. Beginning in small things, if constantly yielded to, Human Respect brings about a general lowering of principle." He uses the example of not blessing yourself at meals outside the home.
The workplace can be a real challenge for many of us when it come to human respect. Perhaps these words of St. Alphonsus Liguori will help us here, as we continue our journey with Our Lord during Lent by meditating on the Stations of the Cross.
Station 9: Jesus Falls a Third Time
St. Alphonsus writes:
Consider the third fall of Jesus Christ. His weakness was extreme, and the cruelty of His executioners was excessive, who tried to hasten His steps when He had scarcely strength to move.
Ah, my outraged Jesus, by the merits of the weakness Thou didst suffer in going to Calvary, give me strength sufficient to conquer all human respect, and all my wicked passions, which have led me to despise Thy friendship. I love Thee, Jesus my love, with my whole heart; I repent of having offended Thee. Never permit me to offend Thee again. Grant that I may love Thee always; and then do with me what Thou wilt.
Relating this to our work day:
Can you think of examples where you've succumbed to human respect in the workplace? I know I can. Occasionally, by the grace of God, I've been able to overcome this tendency. One time an informal comment, during a break in a business meeting, by a Jewish colleague implied that Ukrainians collaborated with the Nazis in exterminating Jews during World War II. He didn't say some Ukrainians, but clearly implied that all Ukrainians were anti-Semitic. Because my wife is of Ukrainian ancestry, I have some familiarity both with Ukrainian people, as well as some knowledge of their history. I gently and respectfully corrected this fellow. Another time, a professional colleague noted a book claiming that Pope Pius XII collaborated with the Nazis that had received some notice some years ago. Again, gently and respectfully, I countered the scurrilous claims made in this book. Frankly, I was bit nervous in both cases, but my comments were taken in the same spirit they were given.
The point here isn't to pat myself on the back. Far from it. More times than not, over the course of my work life, I've allowed human respect to infect my words and behavior. Perhaps meditating on Our Lord's third fall will help change that.
We conclude today's thoughts with the simple, moving exhortation with which St. Alphonsus Liguori approaches each Station of the Cross:
We adore Thee, O Christ, and we bless Thee.
Because by Thy holy Cross, Thou has redeemed the world.
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