Ever Wonder What "Coulda - Shoulda" Been at Work?
If you've worked for any length of time, you may have wondered what "coulda" or "shoulda" been. Examples: If only you had gotten your MBA, you coulda been farther along in your career. You shoulda pursued your dream of becoming a professional musician instead of taking this sales job you don't really care about just to earn money.
There are dozens of variations of "coulda - shoulda" and all of them waste your time. Worse, they can make you feel sad or resentful. That fresh, young, single colleague who seems on top of the world, without the pressures and cares of a family, might (if you're not careful) cause you to wonder what life would be like had you not married and had kids so early. Even if the thought quickly passes, it can be an awful moment simply to have allowed yourself to "go there."
If you've ever allowed your mind to wander into such territory, don't beat yourself up. Remember we're all fallen creatures who struggle daily with the world, the flesh, and the devil. Life's a struggle much of the time, and this may be just one of struggles you face from time to time.
While shoulda-coulda has left me alone lately, I have wrestled with it in the past. I know how important it is to shake it off, quickly if possible. If you happen to be in, or have been in, or tend to slip into this "coulda-shoulda" mindset, here's an antidote for you from Father Zuhlsdorf's blog (emphasis added):
We must not focus on the state we had once upon a time, or wish we had, or should have had, or might have someday: those are unreal and misleading fantasies that distract us from reality and God’s will.
If we are truly devoted and devout (in the sense of the active virtue) to fulfilling the duties of our state as it truly is here and now, then God will give us every actual grace we need to fulfill our vocation. Why can we boldly depend on God to help us? If we are fulfilling the duties of our state of life, then we are also fulfilling our proper roles in His great plan, His design from before the creation of the universe. God is therefore sure to help us. And if we are devoted to our state as it truly is, then God can also guide us to a new vocation when and if that is His will for us.
Faithful in what we must do here and now, we will be open to something God wants us to do later.
So we're not precluding any aspirations you may have to do something new, different, more exciting than your current job. And you can still carve out time to pursue those creative/artistic talents that may have lain dormant for a these last few years. But the key here will be God's Will. Don't focus on yourself so much (or at all if you can manage it!). Determine to do God's Will now and always. Maybe He's got something different He wants you to do. Then again, maybe He's wants you right here - at least for now.
It also helps if you're organized, practice good time management, and approach not only your work, but your entire day in a disciplined manner, balancing prayer and work throughout.
The fact is, we're not here to primarily "fulfill" our dreams and aspirations, to reach for the stars or the brass ring. We were made to know, love, and serve God and to be happy with Him forever in heaven. Our material and/or professional success won't add or subtract from that one iota.
Therefore, our personal achievements - such as they might be - derive any value they might have when they help us fulfill our primary purpose of knowing, loving and serving God.
Let's all remember this when we head for work today, whatever that work might be.
There are dozens of variations of "coulda - shoulda" and all of them waste your time. Worse, they can make you feel sad or resentful. That fresh, young, single colleague who seems on top of the world, without the pressures and cares of a family, might (if you're not careful) cause you to wonder what life would be like had you not married and had kids so early. Even if the thought quickly passes, it can be an awful moment simply to have allowed yourself to "go there."
If you've ever allowed your mind to wander into such territory, don't beat yourself up. Remember we're all fallen creatures who struggle daily with the world, the flesh, and the devil. Life's a struggle much of the time, and this may be just one of struggles you face from time to time.
While shoulda-coulda has left me alone lately, I have wrestled with it in the past. I know how important it is to shake it off, quickly if possible. If you happen to be in, or have been in, or tend to slip into this "coulda-shoulda" mindset, here's an antidote for you from Father Zuhlsdorf's blog (emphasis added):
We must not focus on the state we had once upon a time, or wish we had, or should have had, or might have someday: those are unreal and misleading fantasies that distract us from reality and God’s will.
If we are truly devoted and devout (in the sense of the active virtue) to fulfilling the duties of our state as it truly is here and now, then God will give us every actual grace we need to fulfill our vocation. Why can we boldly depend on God to help us? If we are fulfilling the duties of our state of life, then we are also fulfilling our proper roles in His great plan, His design from before the creation of the universe. God is therefore sure to help us. And if we are devoted to our state as it truly is, then God can also guide us to a new vocation when and if that is His will for us.
Faithful in what we must do here and now, we will be open to something God wants us to do later.
So we're not precluding any aspirations you may have to do something new, different, more exciting than your current job. And you can still carve out time to pursue those creative/artistic talents that may have lain dormant for a these last few years. But the key here will be God's Will. Don't focus on yourself so much (or at all if you can manage it!). Determine to do God's Will now and always. Maybe He's got something different He wants you to do. Then again, maybe He's wants you right here - at least for now.
It also helps if you're organized, practice good time management, and approach not only your work, but your entire day in a disciplined manner, balancing prayer and work throughout.
The fact is, we're not here to primarily "fulfill" our dreams and aspirations, to reach for the stars or the brass ring. We were made to know, love, and serve God and to be happy with Him forever in heaven. Our material and/or professional success won't add or subtract from that one iota.
Therefore, our personal achievements - such as they might be - derive any value they might have when they help us fulfill our primary purpose of knowing, loving and serving God.
Let's all remember this when we head for work today, whatever that work might be.
Comments