Lessons from Another Frustrated Attempt to Take Some Time Off This Summer
(When you run a small business, it can be tough, almost impossible, to break away to take some time off, even during the summer when things do in fact slow down a bit. After yet another unsuccessful attempt at taking at least a long weekend (this time due to a major tech problem that took up a huge chunk of my time) I was reminded of something I originally posted back in September of 2012 that captures the frustration, along with some lessons learned that you might find helpful, especially if you've ever been similarly frustrated.)
In the past, I'd get sort of peevish and annoyed when my vacation time was "stolen" from me. I wasn't much fun to be around (not that I usually am!). Even with my best efforts at being cheerful, I'd be kind of exhausted and therefore, at best, cheerful but in a kind of boring way. (Boringly cheerful or cheerfully boring?)
This time, though, I'd recently learned in my spiritual reading about how you should try to develop the habit of seeing things from "up there." That's not exactly how the writer expressed it, nor is it some sort of theological term, but that's how I understood what I was reading. "Up there," you're somehow above all the stuff that typically goes on in your life "down here."
Apparently this isn't something exotic, but a traditional Catholic understanding that the soul has two parts. Typically this was expressed as the "upper" part and the "lower" part. I'm not a theologian, but here's what I think it means as well as how it applies to us Catholic men at work.
The "down here" is the lower part of your soul. It's where your feelings (physical and emotional) hit you. That's also where your imagination lies. Most of us live our lives "down here."
"Up there" is where our reason and our will reside. Again, that's the "upper part" of your soul. If you pray and ask for God's grace, you can (and should) start spending more of your time "up there" rather than "down here." And when you do that, you start to develop a real sense of peace and - after a time - even joy, no matter what the heck happens "down here." (The writer used the image of being up on a mountaintop watching everything that's going on below from your peaceful perch.)
Here's an example many of us Catholic men can understand:
"Down here" you may wake up tired, a bit under the weather, facing a day of tight deadlines, dealing with colleagues who get on your nerves, or clients who are unreasonably demanding, or a boss who's overbearing...or worse. Most of us look at the prospect of a day like this at work and we're tempted to call in sick, or at best go in with our teeth (maybe even our fists!) clenched ready to pounce on the first person who does the smallest thing to set us off.
(Of course, you may be one of those authentically positive, pleasant, cheerful types who let nothing bother you, not just on the outside, but even on the inside. God bless you and keep you! I'm writing this for the rest of us.)
If you get in the habit of living life "up there" you still see and you still feel all that's going on. It's not like you're not tired, a bit under the weather, and all the rest. It's just that now it won't drag you down or rip you apart or set you off. The reason is that "up there" in that upper part of your soul, you're operating in the world of reason and understanding. You make your decisions without haste or undo passion. And you make those decisions with a firm will that you've developed over time, one that's not sidetracked by how you happen to feel at the moment, or what emotions are tugging at you on this or that particular day. You focus on using your reason to think through what's really happening, and you use your will to decide that you're going to think and behave in a rational manner, even a calm manner.
There's a lot more to this, and I'm afraid I can't explain it all at once. But one thing I like about this concept is that it doesn't rely on psyching yourself up to feel good, or telling yourself that everything's great, or any of those other "positive thinking" mantras that may work for you, but hardly ever work for me.
Oh, and there's one more thing: You're closest to God "up there." I think you're closest to God because He isn't waiting for you to "feel" like you love Him; He's not looking for you to imagine what Heaven might be like, or what He looks like or wonder whether He's mad at you, or any of the things that an active imagination comes up with.
It seems to me that He simply wants you to understand that He loves you, and He wants you to tell Him that you love Him - even if you do it in a totally unemotional or unimaginative way. In fact, if you tell Him you love Him while you're feeling miserable and are disgusted with the world and even disgusted with yourself, and can't understand why God isn't making you feel better - but still you tell Him you love Him - that act of your will is really more important than anything you feel at the moment.
That's why at work, when you tell Him you love Him, even for a brief moment in the midst of all the emotions and distractions, doing that is more important and valuable than when you tell Him you love Him when you're feeling good and have lots of time. It takes an act of will to tell Him you love Him in the midst a lot of unpleasantness, or stress.
Well, I think I've said enough about this for now. But if I can think of any more examples I may come back to this theme. I figure that anything that could change my old attitude toward "losing" a couple of vacation days is worth exploring.
In the past, I'd get sort of peevish and annoyed when my vacation time was "stolen" from me. I wasn't much fun to be around (not that I usually am!). Even with my best efforts at being cheerful, I'd be kind of exhausted and therefore, at best, cheerful but in a kind of boring way. (Boringly cheerful or cheerfully boring?)
This time, though, I'd recently learned in my spiritual reading about how you should try to develop the habit of seeing things from "up there." That's not exactly how the writer expressed it, nor is it some sort of theological term, but that's how I understood what I was reading. "Up there," you're somehow above all the stuff that typically goes on in your life "down here."
Apparently this isn't something exotic, but a traditional Catholic understanding that the soul has two parts. Typically this was expressed as the "upper" part and the "lower" part. I'm not a theologian, but here's what I think it means as well as how it applies to us Catholic men at work.
The "down here" is the lower part of your soul. It's where your feelings (physical and emotional) hit you. That's also where your imagination lies. Most of us live our lives "down here."
"Up there" is where our reason and our will reside. Again, that's the "upper part" of your soul. If you pray and ask for God's grace, you can (and should) start spending more of your time "up there" rather than "down here." And when you do that, you start to develop a real sense of peace and - after a time - even joy, no matter what the heck happens "down here." (The writer used the image of being up on a mountaintop watching everything that's going on below from your peaceful perch.)
Here's an example many of us Catholic men can understand:
"Down here" you may wake up tired, a bit under the weather, facing a day of tight deadlines, dealing with colleagues who get on your nerves, or clients who are unreasonably demanding, or a boss who's overbearing...or worse. Most of us look at the prospect of a day like this at work and we're tempted to call in sick, or at best go in with our teeth (maybe even our fists!) clenched ready to pounce on the first person who does the smallest thing to set us off.
(Of course, you may be one of those authentically positive, pleasant, cheerful types who let nothing bother you, not just on the outside, but even on the inside. God bless you and keep you! I'm writing this for the rest of us.)
If you get in the habit of living life "up there" you still see and you still feel all that's going on. It's not like you're not tired, a bit under the weather, and all the rest. It's just that now it won't drag you down or rip you apart or set you off. The reason is that "up there" in that upper part of your soul, you're operating in the world of reason and understanding. You make your decisions without haste or undo passion. And you make those decisions with a firm will that you've developed over time, one that's not sidetracked by how you happen to feel at the moment, or what emotions are tugging at you on this or that particular day. You focus on using your reason to think through what's really happening, and you use your will to decide that you're going to think and behave in a rational manner, even a calm manner.
There's a lot more to this, and I'm afraid I can't explain it all at once. But one thing I like about this concept is that it doesn't rely on psyching yourself up to feel good, or telling yourself that everything's great, or any of those other "positive thinking" mantras that may work for you, but hardly ever work for me.
Oh, and there's one more thing: You're closest to God "up there." I think you're closest to God because He isn't waiting for you to "feel" like you love Him; He's not looking for you to imagine what Heaven might be like, or what He looks like or wonder whether He's mad at you, or any of the things that an active imagination comes up with.
It seems to me that He simply wants you to understand that He loves you, and He wants you to tell Him that you love Him - even if you do it in a totally unemotional or unimaginative way. In fact, if you tell Him you love Him while you're feeling miserable and are disgusted with the world and even disgusted with yourself, and can't understand why God isn't making you feel better - but still you tell Him you love Him - that act of your will is really more important than anything you feel at the moment.
That's why at work, when you tell Him you love Him, even for a brief moment in the midst of all the emotions and distractions, doing that is more important and valuable than when you tell Him you love Him when you're feeling good and have lots of time. It takes an act of will to tell Him you love Him in the midst a lot of unpleasantness, or stress.
Well, I think I've said enough about this for now. But if I can think of any more examples I may come back to this theme. I figure that anything that could change my old attitude toward "losing" a couple of vacation days is worth exploring.
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