Can Manipulative Co-workers Teach Us Something?
Manipulative people try to get us to do what they want us to do. The more "skilled' and unscrupulous manipulators will go to any lengths to be sure that we respond to their manipulations without us really knowing we're being manipulated.
If you see this as unacceptable and unethical behavior, you're correct. But according to an article in the Wall Street Journal, "everybody can learn" from such people. The article begins with a reference to co-workers who appear to possess "an inexplicable ability to rise in the ranks."
I was immediately reminded of the - now that I think about it - seemingly endless "sales training" I received over many years that, for the most part, focused on how to "influence" your prospect (really how to manipulate them) to say "yes" to whatever product or service you were asked to promote. If you're starting essentially from "ground zero" in terms of experience in sales and typically close to zero in terms of knowledge of the industry that hires you, as I did on a couple of occasions, you begin to become uncomfortably aware of the fact that you're being trained and paid to get a "yes" from whomever you were soliciting, as long as they have a pulse.
Now, I'm exaggerating a bit here, but not really all that much. Over time, fortunately, I've been able to extricate myself from this sort of activity and still earn a living. But there was a time when, given the pressures of earning a living to support a family, I found myself doing and saying things that, to put it mildly, made me feel rather uncomfortable.
If you've been in this position, you know what I'm talking about and how it feels. You wind up being manipulated by a "sales manager" who provides "training" so you can manipulate others. If you're in this situation pray on it and go find some way to gain some expertise that will allow you to escape the "sales manager" who cares only about meeting quotas that result in his (or her) being paid a fat bonus and will do anything and everything to get that bonus.
Once you "get out" the good news is you'll probably become quite good at spotting the manipulators out there. You'll be able to identify and avoid their efforts to get you to buy or do something you really don't need or want to do. And you can possible help others to spot the offenders and avoid being unduly influenced by them - for example, your own children. Good can come from bad.
Perhaps the best piece of advice in this article is that dispensed by a Mr. Zeune:
And as a Catholic, remember that God, your Father, loves you. If you really, truly understand this, you might be less subject to those who would play on the natural tendency most of us have of responding positively to those who are "nice" to us.
Rather than respond positively to such manipulative overtures, consider responding positively (the next time you attend a Novus Ordo Mass) with rapt attention and heart-felt sincerity to the very first words the priest speaks after the sign of the cross :
If you see this as unacceptable and unethical behavior, you're correct. But according to an article in the Wall Street Journal, "everybody can learn" from such people. The article begins with a reference to co-workers who appear to possess "an inexplicable ability to rise in the ranks."
"How do they do it?" we may ask ourselves or whisper to friends at work. They don't have more experience. They don't seem that brilliant.The author not only proceeds to catalog how narcissistic and manipulative people get ahead, which may be of interest if you want to identify and understand such people, but she also then informs us that we can learn something from such people, specifically when we gain an "understanding how narcissistic or manipulative people use subtle skills to gain influence." Sales people get particular recognition when it comes to knowing how to gain influence.
I was immediately reminded of the - now that I think about it - seemingly endless "sales training" I received over many years that, for the most part, focused on how to "influence" your prospect (really how to manipulate them) to say "yes" to whatever product or service you were asked to promote. If you're starting essentially from "ground zero" in terms of experience in sales and typically close to zero in terms of knowledge of the industry that hires you, as I did on a couple of occasions, you begin to become uncomfortably aware of the fact that you're being trained and paid to get a "yes" from whomever you were soliciting, as long as they have a pulse.
Now, I'm exaggerating a bit here, but not really all that much. Over time, fortunately, I've been able to extricate myself from this sort of activity and still earn a living. But there was a time when, given the pressures of earning a living to support a family, I found myself doing and saying things that, to put it mildly, made me feel rather uncomfortable.
If you've been in this position, you know what I'm talking about and how it feels. You wind up being manipulated by a "sales manager" who provides "training" so you can manipulate others. If you're in this situation pray on it and go find some way to gain some expertise that will allow you to escape the "sales manager" who cares only about meeting quotas that result in his (or her) being paid a fat bonus and will do anything and everything to get that bonus.
Once you "get out" the good news is you'll probably become quite good at spotting the manipulators out there. You'll be able to identify and avoid their efforts to get you to buy or do something you really don't need or want to do. And you can possible help others to spot the offenders and avoid being unduly influenced by them - for example, your own children. Good can come from bad.
Perhaps the best piece of advice in this article is that dispensed by a Mr. Zeune:
Beware of a colleague who "tries to be way too nice for what they're asking you to do," Mr. Zeune says.Good advice indeed.
And as a Catholic, remember that God, your Father, loves you. If you really, truly understand this, you might be less subject to those who would play on the natural tendency most of us have of responding positively to those who are "nice" to us.
Rather than respond positively to such manipulative overtures, consider responding positively (the next time you attend a Novus Ordo Mass) with rapt attention and heart-felt sincerity to the very first words the priest speaks after the sign of the cross :
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you.Grace is a lot better than "nice," wouldn't you say?
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