God's "Gift" of Temptation
I've been struggling a bit with a nasty cold caught on a trip out of town. I made the trip because I contribute my time and energy (and money) to a cause. Maybe you do the same as a way to "give back" or, to use a currently popular phrase, "pay it forward."
For this cause, I also serve on the Board. This particular trip entailed attendance at meetings with people who said and did what they wanted to get what they wanted, with little to no regard for the truth. Though the organization is small and certainly not in any way prestigious, still a group of people had decided that they wanted to assert some sort of control - why, I'm not sure - of the Board, or at least they wanted the Board to do what they wanted. If the disagreement arose because of passion for the truth, where sincere people simply disagree and that disagreement gets a little out of hand, it wouldn't be so bad. But that's not what I was facing. When you say and do what you want to get what you want without putting the truth first, you're in "enemy" territory. And that's where - unbeknownst to me when I embarked on my trip - I spent those few days.
Don't get me wrong here. It's not so uncommon for many of us to say what we want to get what we want. And frequently, if not always this, unfortunately, entails playing fast and loose with the truth. There are exceptions, of course, but the bulk of humanity - even if only from time to time - engages in this sort of behavior.
Sadly, in my own life, I can think of times when out of anger or frustration, I said what I wanted to get what I wanted. Out of frustration, I may have countered what I thought was an unreasonable assertion by someone else with an assertion of my own that wasn't carefully checked for accuracy. Perhaps I didn't intend to lie, but, rather than take the time to check my facts, I simply said what was on the tip of my tongue to stop the other party from saying what was clearly wrong.
Or maybe I was angry and said something that really wasn't appropriate. I've never actually said, "I hate you" in anger (though I've been on the receiving end of this once or twice), but I've blurted out something to hurt someone else whom I felt wronged me or hurt me. I said or did whatever I wanted to get what I wanted - that is, to hurt someone.
In all this, the truth was pushed aside or ignored, or twisted in some way, shape or form. Later, of course, I recognized that I had glossed over, ignored or twisted the truth to get my way. Off to confession I go. Kyrie eleison. Lord, please grant me the grace never to do this again!
Okay, enough about me. I hope you understand the point: that if you say (or do) what you want to get what you want without regard for the truth you may very well have sinned and you need to confess this. But let's get back to the story of the last few days.
The meetings were intended to bring together opposing points of view. The opposing sides had engaged in some contentious exchanges. I was on one side, and had certainly experienced some unpleasant exchanges over recent months. I spent considerable time making sure that I carefully checked the points I was making on my side to present my case, but already began to notice that the other side wasn't so careful. So getting together was going to air our differences and find common ground so that the interests of the organization - a Catholic organization by the way - were our primary concern, not our own interests or egos.
Yes, that's right, this was a Catholic organization and the two sides were composed of Catholics, squaring off on matters that could reasonably be debated. But things had begun to turn ugly. One side began to say and do whatever they wanted in order to get the result they wanted. I witnessed concern for the truth steadily take second place to concern for some sort of "victory" on the part of the other side. It was upsetting to witness, to say the least.
Worse, things got personal - as in personal attacks, that also were pursued without regard for the truth. Fortunately no one on our side engaged in such attacks; but we were the butt of such attacks.
Enter temptations to resentment, anger, even perhaps a touch of revenge. Thank God (and it was His grace and His grace alone that caught me before I slipped into the dark pit that the devil prepares in waiting for those of us who turn from love to hate) that He provided the graces I needed to stay as close to Him as I could. Temptations became a source of great gain, growth in my love for God, and, in the end love even for the "other side" that was, and continues to be, a sharp, painful thorn in my side.
Next time we'll look at just how such temptation can help all of us grow holier.
For this cause, I also serve on the Board. This particular trip entailed attendance at meetings with people who said and did what they wanted to get what they wanted, with little to no regard for the truth. Though the organization is small and certainly not in any way prestigious, still a group of people had decided that they wanted to assert some sort of control - why, I'm not sure - of the Board, or at least they wanted the Board to do what they wanted. If the disagreement arose because of passion for the truth, where sincere people simply disagree and that disagreement gets a little out of hand, it wouldn't be so bad. But that's not what I was facing. When you say and do what you want to get what you want without putting the truth first, you're in "enemy" territory. And that's where - unbeknownst to me when I embarked on my trip - I spent those few days.
Don't get me wrong here. It's not so uncommon for many of us to say what we want to get what we want. And frequently, if not always this, unfortunately, entails playing fast and loose with the truth. There are exceptions, of course, but the bulk of humanity - even if only from time to time - engages in this sort of behavior.
Sadly, in my own life, I can think of times when out of anger or frustration, I said what I wanted to get what I wanted. Out of frustration, I may have countered what I thought was an unreasonable assertion by someone else with an assertion of my own that wasn't carefully checked for accuracy. Perhaps I didn't intend to lie, but, rather than take the time to check my facts, I simply said what was on the tip of my tongue to stop the other party from saying what was clearly wrong.
Or maybe I was angry and said something that really wasn't appropriate. I've never actually said, "I hate you" in anger (though I've been on the receiving end of this once or twice), but I've blurted out something to hurt someone else whom I felt wronged me or hurt me. I said or did whatever I wanted to get what I wanted - that is, to hurt someone.
In all this, the truth was pushed aside or ignored, or twisted in some way, shape or form. Later, of course, I recognized that I had glossed over, ignored or twisted the truth to get my way. Off to confession I go. Kyrie eleison. Lord, please grant me the grace never to do this again!
Okay, enough about me. I hope you understand the point: that if you say (or do) what you want to get what you want without regard for the truth you may very well have sinned and you need to confess this. But let's get back to the story of the last few days.
The meetings were intended to bring together opposing points of view. The opposing sides had engaged in some contentious exchanges. I was on one side, and had certainly experienced some unpleasant exchanges over recent months. I spent considerable time making sure that I carefully checked the points I was making on my side to present my case, but already began to notice that the other side wasn't so careful. So getting together was going to air our differences and find common ground so that the interests of the organization - a Catholic organization by the way - were our primary concern, not our own interests or egos.
Yes, that's right, this was a Catholic organization and the two sides were composed of Catholics, squaring off on matters that could reasonably be debated. But things had begun to turn ugly. One side began to say and do whatever they wanted in order to get the result they wanted. I witnessed concern for the truth steadily take second place to concern for some sort of "victory" on the part of the other side. It was upsetting to witness, to say the least.
Worse, things got personal - as in personal attacks, that also were pursued without regard for the truth. Fortunately no one on our side engaged in such attacks; but we were the butt of such attacks.
Enter temptations to resentment, anger, even perhaps a touch of revenge. Thank God (and it was His grace and His grace alone that caught me before I slipped into the dark pit that the devil prepares in waiting for those of us who turn from love to hate) that He provided the graces I needed to stay as close to Him as I could. Temptations became a source of great gain, growth in my love for God, and, in the end love even for the "other side" that was, and continues to be, a sharp, painful thorn in my side.
Next time we'll look at just how such temptation can help all of us grow holier.
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