How Our Work Helps Us Grow Our Spiritual Life - Part 2

So we've figured out that our "feelings" don't, indeed shouldn't, matter in our spiritual life. We compared this fact to how we work each day, when the day-to-day tasks of our job - even a job we enjoy doing - can sometimes slip into a kind of rut, a grinding process of stuff that must be done and isn't all that much fun. Here's an example:

Right now, there's a particular project that I'm looking forward to completing. I've even got a pretty good work flow laid out all neatly in diagram form. Knowing where this will all end frankly energizes me. But there's this small matter of having to do a mess of grunt work right now that really isn't my cup of tea. It could take a while to get through this boring, detailed grind. Even with the help of the work flow diagram, the best I can do at this point, today, as I approach the boring grinding part of this project, is to intellectually grasp the goal and just push myself to go about the business at hand. It's not at all fun or exciting, but my feelings here simply don't matter. It's got to be done.

And so I begin to tackle each item on the "grind" list. Of course, I can't just go about my business mindlessly. I've got to know what result I need to obtain from each of these tasks, otherwise I'm spinning my wheels. And, especially since I run a small business, I can't afford to just "look busy" so I can collect my check. I've got to produce results.

Similarly, each day, I approach my prayer, meditation, daily reading, etc., with a knowledge of the goal: to grow closer to God - ultimately, by His grace, to join Him in eternal life in Heaven. With my intellect, I grasp the wonder of this. But some days, maybe most, maybe even all, my feelings betray a lack of excitement. Now, as in my work, I may need to "grind it out" when it comes to my prayer, meditation and reading, but I don't want to just spin my wheels. So I do my best to focus on the prayer or meditation or reading at hand, to pay attention. Frequently I slow down so I'm not just plodding ahead just to "get through it."

But my attempts here probably fall short of good advice that you can use, so why don't we just turn to Abbot Chapman and see what he has to say:

"We have to accept from God...all our inborn and ingrained weakness and selfishness and incapacity. And also the poor amount of sanctity we see in ourselves."

Okay, but what about when we do that, we persist in our prayer (like we persist in our work), but we remain empty, lacking all feeling and enthusiasm?

"When we have not comfort in God, but want it more than anything, then we are probably more united to Him than at any other moment."

That "wanting it" is our will - whether in our spiritual life or at work. And we can simply assert our will, not matter how we feel, even on days where we feel rotten or just totally empty of any feeling. Just like at work where we push ourselves, despite how we may feel, we get down to the task at hand.

And yet, even if we understand the primacy of our intellect and will over our feelings, we still may find ourselves, from time to time, not only lacking the feeling or emotion that would help us to get on with the task at hand, but even tired or perhaps thoroughly exhausted either from our current efforts or perhaps from everything else going on in our busy lives at that moment in time. What then?

"One is inclined to say 'I am so weak, I can't go on like this! I must have some consolation, or I shall merely fall, and grow worldly.' But God knows best. Absolute and complete confidence, trust, abandon, is what we need."

So in the end, it comes down to this: complete confidence, trust, abandon.

Now it's off to work to grind out those terribly boring tasks waiting for me today.