When in Doubt, Shut Your Mouth
When in doubt, shut your mouth. Specifically, watch what you say at work, especially when it comes to comments about others.
So many workplaces hum with gossip throughout the day. It's just the way people are, for some reason. And while lots of it seems "innocent" enough at first hearing, it's frequently really not so innocent. The reason is that a comment about someone planted in people's brains can easily take root and grow into all sorts of falsehoods that people just, well, make up.
For example, if you say to someone, for whatever reason, that Joe looked like he was out late last night, maybe you just meant it as a passing comment about the fact that Joe looked tired, or a bit disheveled, compared to his usual appearance. You didn't really mean anything else. But the person you make the comment to takes this into his imagination and maybe says to someone else: Did you see Joe this morning? What's up with him? And maybe that third person says to a fourth: "Something's up with Joe. Did you see him this morning." At this point, the comments mushroom, and who knows where they end up.
This is a simple, innocent comment gone wild, and maybe it gets to where rumors about Joe start to spread through the "gossip mill" at work. Meanwhile, Joe's done nothing wrong besides maybe having a bad night's sleep!
We're not even getting into the situation where someone purposely intentionally plants a comment about someone that sounds innocent at first, but it's meant to start the whole rumor mill humming. And, yes, there are people like that. So it's really best to basically keep your mouth shut about others when you're at work.
I bring all this up because of two things I read recently. One comes from The Rule of St Benedict. In more than one place, monks are urged to keep silence. Remember these men live - and work - together all the time. Charity and humility help keep what St Benedict calls the "stability" of the monastery intact. And watching your words is an important part of maintaining stability. Silence is the best tool to keep your words from causing harm. For example, in one passage, speaking of the "degrees of humility" the Rule states:
We're not even talking here about detraction - purposely saying things about someone that harm his "good name." When you get to detraction, you're dealing with something that's sinful. These "innocent" comments we're talking about aren't really sinful. There's no intention to harm as there typically is in the situation where someone says something to purposely harm someone else. But the lesson here is nevertheless an important one.
So when in doubt, shut your mouth. While it doesn't quite rhyme, I hope it makes a good point that sticks with us throughout the work day.
So many workplaces hum with gossip throughout the day. It's just the way people are, for some reason. And while lots of it seems "innocent" enough at first hearing, it's frequently really not so innocent. The reason is that a comment about someone planted in people's brains can easily take root and grow into all sorts of falsehoods that people just, well, make up.
For example, if you say to someone, for whatever reason, that Joe looked like he was out late last night, maybe you just meant it as a passing comment about the fact that Joe looked tired, or a bit disheveled, compared to his usual appearance. You didn't really mean anything else. But the person you make the comment to takes this into his imagination and maybe says to someone else: Did you see Joe this morning? What's up with him? And maybe that third person says to a fourth: "Something's up with Joe. Did you see him this morning." At this point, the comments mushroom, and who knows where they end up.
This is a simple, innocent comment gone wild, and maybe it gets to where rumors about Joe start to spread through the "gossip mill" at work. Meanwhile, Joe's done nothing wrong besides maybe having a bad night's sleep!
We're not even getting into the situation where someone purposely intentionally plants a comment about someone that sounds innocent at first, but it's meant to start the whole rumor mill humming. And, yes, there are people like that. So it's really best to basically keep your mouth shut about others when you're at work.
I bring all this up because of two things I read recently. One comes from The Rule of St Benedict. In more than one place, monks are urged to keep silence. Remember these men live - and work - together all the time. Charity and humility help keep what St Benedict calls the "stability" of the monastery intact. And watching your words is an important part of maintaining stability. Silence is the best tool to keep your words from causing harm. For example, in one passage, speaking of the "degrees of humility" the Rule states:
The ninth degree of humility is when a monk holdeth his tongue from speaking, and keeping silence doth not speak until he is asked; for the Scripture showeth that "in the multitude of words there shall not want sin...I used to think this emphasis on silence was kind of draconian, like St Benedict was some sort of killjoy. But now I think I understand his point, and it's really an important one. (How could I ever have doubted the insight of this great saint into the human mind and heart and the habits that could lead to trouble amongst his men?)
We're not even talking here about detraction - purposely saying things about someone that harm his "good name." When you get to detraction, you're dealing with something that's sinful. These "innocent" comments we're talking about aren't really sinful. There's no intention to harm as there typically is in the situation where someone says something to purposely harm someone else. But the lesson here is nevertheless an important one.
So when in doubt, shut your mouth. While it doesn't quite rhyme, I hope it makes a good point that sticks with us throughout the work day.
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