Defending Marriage at Work
Marriage is under attack. We Catholic men need to defend it, and we need to defend it now. The urgency of my request springs from recent media efforts to promote "same sex" marriage. Here in New York City, the head of the City Council just "married" her "partner." The "wedding" guests included the Mayor, Mike Bloomberg, Police Commisioner Raymond Kelly, and the state's Governor, Andrew Cuomo. That latter two are Catholic. The media gave this event extensive coverage and the local TV news reporters and anchors all smiled approvingly.
We need to defend marriage because of what's at stake. The destruction of marriage will destroy our society and culture. The Church has always taught taught that having children is a basic reason why two people get married. Anyone with a brain can understand that if people marry and don't have children, there will soon be no society and no culture. I don't want to get sidetracked into explaining and defending Holy Mother Church's teachings on marriage and why they are so important to a healthy society and culture. I hope you already understand this. I just want to encourage you to defend marriage in the workplace.
Why in the workplace? Because that's where most of us Catholic men interact with people of varied backgrounds who hold different beliefs than us. And while we can certainly defend marriage when we're with family and friends who may benefit from us standing for the truth, we may not realize that we can also influence people at work.
No, I'm not suggesting you debate anyone while you're on the job. Maybe you can or want to do this. But sometimes that's just not the prudent thing to do. And for all I know, you may work in a company where such debate would be considered grounds for termination. I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. Getting yourself fired probably isn't going to help you defend marriage.
But even if we can't speak out at work, our words and actions can defend marriage between a man and a woman in a positive way. Here's how.
First and foremost, remember that people observe each other at work. Heck, that's why there's so much gossip in the workplace. For better or for worse, people always seem to want to know everyone else's business. Even if you don't engage in this sort of "busy-body" activity (and I hope you don't), be aware that many people do.
Once you realize that you're "being watched," so to speak, you can then appreciate the opportunity you have to evangelize at work. Your behavior as a Catholic man should serve as an example to others of the joy and peace that come from a true love of Jesus Christ. Maybe you don't perfectly communicate this (I know I don't all the time), but it's important that you do. So strive to give good example.
Now, if you're married, you can be an example to others of a faithful, loving husband. You do this by cultivating the virtue of chastity. Your words and actions - not just with women at work, but with men too - should always be chaste. For example, never use vulgar sexual terms about women when speaking to men or women.
At the very least, never criticize or speak in any way negatively about your wife. And if you're blessed with a happy marriage, you can communicate this when appropriate. It depends on the situation and your own personality. Such positive comments shouldn't sound forced. If you can express your love for your wife in a natural way by speaking well of her, do so. But you definitely don't ever want to speak negatively.
If your marriage is blessed with children, speak and act that way - that you've been blessed. I'm not talking about boring your fellow workers, as some do, with "proud Papa" comments. Please don't try to impress - which usually means oppress - others with comments about how great your kids are. If you understand that not only have you been blessed with children, but that they are your greatest treasure, as is your wife, then your words should communicate that when you speak of them. Of course, occasionally sharing the frustrations of raising children - especially in today's vulgar secular culture - may be helpful when done discreetly with other fathers who need encouragement. Use your discretion here.
By speaking and acting as a faithful husband and a caring father who loves his family dearly, you can go a long way to demonstrate the sanctity and joy of "real" marriage.
Finally, don't "go along" with all the positive talk about "same sex" or "gay" marriage. You don't have to argue or debate with people on this. But you shouldn't speak or act in any way that indicates that you assent or approve. Indeed, it's a perversion of marriage and you ought to be clear about this in your own mind. Don't think you're being "judgmental" or somehow uncharitable by disapproving of homosexuals, especially those who would pervert the meaning of marriage. There's nothing charitable in approving or somehow reserving judgment about sin.
Once you're clear in your own mind, you'll be able to resist the pressure of "going along to get along" when it comes to same sex marriage. Someone has to put a stop to this madness and we can and should do our part as Catholic men at work. While these are simple and modest suggestions, every little bit helps.
We need to defend marriage because of what's at stake. The destruction of marriage will destroy our society and culture. The Church has always taught taught that having children is a basic reason why two people get married. Anyone with a brain can understand that if people marry and don't have children, there will soon be no society and no culture. I don't want to get sidetracked into explaining and defending Holy Mother Church's teachings on marriage and why they are so important to a healthy society and culture. I hope you already understand this. I just want to encourage you to defend marriage in the workplace.
Why in the workplace? Because that's where most of us Catholic men interact with people of varied backgrounds who hold different beliefs than us. And while we can certainly defend marriage when we're with family and friends who may benefit from us standing for the truth, we may not realize that we can also influence people at work.
No, I'm not suggesting you debate anyone while you're on the job. Maybe you can or want to do this. But sometimes that's just not the prudent thing to do. And for all I know, you may work in a company where such debate would be considered grounds for termination. I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. Getting yourself fired probably isn't going to help you defend marriage.
But even if we can't speak out at work, our words and actions can defend marriage between a man and a woman in a positive way. Here's how.
First and foremost, remember that people observe each other at work. Heck, that's why there's so much gossip in the workplace. For better or for worse, people always seem to want to know everyone else's business. Even if you don't engage in this sort of "busy-body" activity (and I hope you don't), be aware that many people do.
Once you realize that you're "being watched," so to speak, you can then appreciate the opportunity you have to evangelize at work. Your behavior as a Catholic man should serve as an example to others of the joy and peace that come from a true love of Jesus Christ. Maybe you don't perfectly communicate this (I know I don't all the time), but it's important that you do. So strive to give good example.
Now, if you're married, you can be an example to others of a faithful, loving husband. You do this by cultivating the virtue of chastity. Your words and actions - not just with women at work, but with men too - should always be chaste. For example, never use vulgar sexual terms about women when speaking to men or women.
At the very least, never criticize or speak in any way negatively about your wife. And if you're blessed with a happy marriage, you can communicate this when appropriate. It depends on the situation and your own personality. Such positive comments shouldn't sound forced. If you can express your love for your wife in a natural way by speaking well of her, do so. But you definitely don't ever want to speak negatively.
If your marriage is blessed with children, speak and act that way - that you've been blessed. I'm not talking about boring your fellow workers, as some do, with "proud Papa" comments. Please don't try to impress - which usually means oppress - others with comments about how great your kids are. If you understand that not only have you been blessed with children, but that they are your greatest treasure, as is your wife, then your words should communicate that when you speak of them. Of course, occasionally sharing the frustrations of raising children - especially in today's vulgar secular culture - may be helpful when done discreetly with other fathers who need encouragement. Use your discretion here.
By speaking and acting as a faithful husband and a caring father who loves his family dearly, you can go a long way to demonstrate the sanctity and joy of "real" marriage.
Finally, don't "go along" with all the positive talk about "same sex" or "gay" marriage. You don't have to argue or debate with people on this. But you shouldn't speak or act in any way that indicates that you assent or approve. Indeed, it's a perversion of marriage and you ought to be clear about this in your own mind. Don't think you're being "judgmental" or somehow uncharitable by disapproving of homosexuals, especially those who would pervert the meaning of marriage. There's nothing charitable in approving or somehow reserving judgment about sin.
Once you're clear in your own mind, you'll be able to resist the pressure of "going along to get along" when it comes to same sex marriage. Someone has to put a stop to this madness and we can and should do our part as Catholic men at work. While these are simple and modest suggestions, every little bit helps.
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