Forget Results: Just Keep Struggling
Results matter at work. But not so in the spiritual life. What matters in our spiritual lives is struggle.
At work, whether you're an employee of a company or you own your own business, you need to get results. It would be madness to ignore results. If you did, you might get fired; heck, you might starve!
But here I'm talking about our spiritual lives. What matters is that we struggle, day by day, for perfection. And the fact is, sometimes, in spite of our struggle, we just can't seem to get the results we think we should.
Focusing on how we behave in the workplace, an example of where we struggle and don't get results in our spiritual lives might be when we're impatient and speak harshly to people at times. I hope you're not like this, but I know I am sometimes. I speak to my assistant sharply because I'm impatient. I've even lost my temper a few times. It's a fault I work on and - lo and behold - sometimes I succeed! Then again, sometimes - just when I think I'm the most patient guy in the world - I fail and wind up saying things in an unpleasant tone of voice.
(Of course if this were my only fault I'd be doing an Irish jig right now celebrating my spiritual perfection, but, alas, it's not.)
Think about your own failings. Again, we can stick to the workplace for now. Do you put off doing a task because it's unpleasant? Do you avoid certain people because they're annoying? Do you complain - even if only to yourself? (I'm sticking with what some of us might consider small faults here, but in the spiritual life, where you're striving for perfection, these small things are real killers.)
Add whatever you want to this list. The point here is that there just may be some things you can't seem to straighten out. Maybe it's just that you complain to yourself. You don't even complain to anyone else at work, just to yourself. But you know that all that complaining wears you out, and makes it hard to sanctify your work - to do it for the greater glory of God. Here you are working and at the same time complaining about your boss, who's obnoxious, your co-workers who are annoying, the project you have to complete that's boring you to tears, the commute that's too long, you don't get paid enough - whatever it is. All that complaining distracts you from offering your work to God with a pure heart. And you know it.
But don't get frustrated about this. Here's where struggle and not results count. God doesn't always expect you to succeed. But He does want you to struggle against these faults. He sees your struggle. He knows that yesterday, when that annoying co-worker asked you a dumb question, you answered in a straightforward, charitable manner, without expressing impatience. Maybe you even said a prayer for the poor, annoying dunce. It doesn't matter that today, the same person asks the same dumb question and you answer in an exasperated, impatient manner, even justifying your reaction because they asked the same question less than 24 hours later, never even thinking that you could possibly express yourself - yes, even that second time - in a charitable way. What you did yesterday was part of the struggle. And now that you see how you've slipped a bit today, you just get back to the struggle again.
The thing to remember is that God sometimes lets some of us poor souls go all through our lives struggling with these sorts of failings (and some of us struggle against even worse failings). This might go on until the day we die. But if we struggle, if we don't get discouraged, if we never fail to trust in His mercy and forgiveness, then we've done our part. Not that we're ever satisfied with our effort, you understand. It's that we keep getting up each morning determined to be good, and to struggle with our faults if we have to.
Someone else - the venerable Blosius - says this better than I'm trying to say it:
At work, whether you're an employee of a company or you own your own business, you need to get results. It would be madness to ignore results. If you did, you might get fired; heck, you might starve!
But here I'm talking about our spiritual lives. What matters is that we struggle, day by day, for perfection. And the fact is, sometimes, in spite of our struggle, we just can't seem to get the results we think we should.
Focusing on how we behave in the workplace, an example of where we struggle and don't get results in our spiritual lives might be when we're impatient and speak harshly to people at times. I hope you're not like this, but I know I am sometimes. I speak to my assistant sharply because I'm impatient. I've even lost my temper a few times. It's a fault I work on and - lo and behold - sometimes I succeed! Then again, sometimes - just when I think I'm the most patient guy in the world - I fail and wind up saying things in an unpleasant tone of voice.
(Of course if this were my only fault I'd be doing an Irish jig right now celebrating my spiritual perfection, but, alas, it's not.)
Think about your own failings. Again, we can stick to the workplace for now. Do you put off doing a task because it's unpleasant? Do you avoid certain people because they're annoying? Do you complain - even if only to yourself? (I'm sticking with what some of us might consider small faults here, but in the spiritual life, where you're striving for perfection, these small things are real killers.)
Add whatever you want to this list. The point here is that there just may be some things you can't seem to straighten out. Maybe it's just that you complain to yourself. You don't even complain to anyone else at work, just to yourself. But you know that all that complaining wears you out, and makes it hard to sanctify your work - to do it for the greater glory of God. Here you are working and at the same time complaining about your boss, who's obnoxious, your co-workers who are annoying, the project you have to complete that's boring you to tears, the commute that's too long, you don't get paid enough - whatever it is. All that complaining distracts you from offering your work to God with a pure heart. And you know it.
But don't get frustrated about this. Here's where struggle and not results count. God doesn't always expect you to succeed. But He does want you to struggle against these faults. He sees your struggle. He knows that yesterday, when that annoying co-worker asked you a dumb question, you answered in a straightforward, charitable manner, without expressing impatience. Maybe you even said a prayer for the poor, annoying dunce. It doesn't matter that today, the same person asks the same dumb question and you answer in an exasperated, impatient manner, even justifying your reaction because they asked the same question less than 24 hours later, never even thinking that you could possibly express yourself - yes, even that second time - in a charitable way. What you did yesterday was part of the struggle. And now that you see how you've slipped a bit today, you just get back to the struggle again.
The thing to remember is that God sometimes lets some of us poor souls go all through our lives struggling with these sorts of failings (and some of us struggle against even worse failings). This might go on until the day we die. But if we struggle, if we don't get discouraged, if we never fail to trust in His mercy and forgiveness, then we've done our part. Not that we're ever satisfied with our effort, you understand. It's that we keep getting up each morning determined to be good, and to struggle with our faults if we have to.
Someone else - the venerable Blosius - says this better than I'm trying to say it:
"If God wishes to subject you to the rudest combats, before subjugating your passions and vices...then joyfully submit yourselves to His holy will."
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