Denying Our Lord at Work
It always struck me how quickly Peter denied Our Lord those three times. How could he do it so, well, so easily - and right after Jesus told him he would do it?
For a long time I was kind of grateful Our Lord didn't put me in Peter's spot. I never doubted that I'd do the same or worse. And I kind of hoped Our Lord knew how weak I was and would ever make me have to chose to deny Him.
So when those times came up at work, for example, where I could speak up and say that I'm Catholic, well I did that. And I thought that I was kind of standing up for my faith. They weren't confrontational moments; just times when it might be easy to change the subject, or walk away or something. And instead I made the point of being Catholic. Brave me.
Hey, I even confronted a professional colleague during a meeting when he made some comment about Pius XII not standing up for the Jews during World War II - I told him - charitably - how that slanderous story got started, and suggested where he might go to find out the truth. Now that I think about it, I brought this up to a Jewish friend, to make sure they didn't think ill of Pope Pius. Brave me, right?
But wait a minute. What about all those times at work when I deny Our Lord. I'm not talking about denying Him to others. I'm talking about denying that He even exists during my work day.
The other day when I talked about that computer crash, I told you how I'd almost forgot to "offer up" the whole mess up while it was going on. (You can read about it by clicking here, if you want.) I ended up by saying that I was still kind of "frazzled" by the whole experience. Well, frazzled isn't quite the way to describe what came next.
See, after things got fixed - or so I thought - the little bugs started crawling out. You know, the little things here and there that weren't quite put back together just right. And of course, they came up just when I was pressed to get out an important piece of work.
For those of you who use computers, here's a quick sample: Adobe Acrobat wouldn't print, so I couldn't create the pdf's I needed. The security software wouldn't open so I couldn't access my secure files. That's just a sample.
Naturally, everything's being resolved now, but that wasn't the case while I was trying to get out my important work. And I had promised it to a client, thinking I had plenty of time to meet my self-imposed deadline, which I did under normal circumstances. To say I was impatient is being to easy on myself. As the day wore on, I bounced around from impatient, to nasty, to angry, to almost despairing.
So where am I going with this? I'm going to that yard outside the high priest's house. And I'm reading Luke's version of how Peter denies Our Lord. And there I am not once thinking of Our Lord, asking for His help. I didn't even offer it up - right after telling you how I did offer up the original crash and all it's original consequences a few days before. It's kind of like Peter denying Our Lord right after Our Lord tells him he's going to do it.
Ah, maybe I'm making too big a deal about this. And in the end, I just stayed with the problems, worked until late Friday and got the work to the client, after apologizing for being late. I even thanked Our Lord - after the fact - when it was all over...when it was easy to say "Thank you," when it was easy to think of Our Lord.
But before that, in the heat of the battle, it was like He didn't exist - like I didn't know Him. It was kind of like Peter saying "I don't know the man" one, two, three times. Only for me it was a lot more than three throughout the course of that miserable day.
When will I ever learn? Well, my only hope at this point is that it's Lent, and maybe Our Lord sent this miserable day my way to shake me up a bit and remind me I've got a long way to go if I'm every going to grow closer to Him. Maybe He's helping me to re-focus on my Lenten resolutions. Yeah, maybe that's it.
For a long time I was kind of grateful Our Lord didn't put me in Peter's spot. I never doubted that I'd do the same or worse. And I kind of hoped Our Lord knew how weak I was and would ever make me have to chose to deny Him.
So when those times came up at work, for example, where I could speak up and say that I'm Catholic, well I did that. And I thought that I was kind of standing up for my faith. They weren't confrontational moments; just times when it might be easy to change the subject, or walk away or something. And instead I made the point of being Catholic. Brave me.
Hey, I even confronted a professional colleague during a meeting when he made some comment about Pius XII not standing up for the Jews during World War II - I told him - charitably - how that slanderous story got started, and suggested where he might go to find out the truth. Now that I think about it, I brought this up to a Jewish friend, to make sure they didn't think ill of Pope Pius. Brave me, right?
But wait a minute. What about all those times at work when I deny Our Lord. I'm not talking about denying Him to others. I'm talking about denying that He even exists during my work day.
The other day when I talked about that computer crash, I told you how I'd almost forgot to "offer up" the whole mess up while it was going on. (You can read about it by clicking here, if you want.) I ended up by saying that I was still kind of "frazzled" by the whole experience. Well, frazzled isn't quite the way to describe what came next.
See, after things got fixed - or so I thought - the little bugs started crawling out. You know, the little things here and there that weren't quite put back together just right. And of course, they came up just when I was pressed to get out an important piece of work.
For those of you who use computers, here's a quick sample: Adobe Acrobat wouldn't print, so I couldn't create the pdf's I needed. The security software wouldn't open so I couldn't access my secure files. That's just a sample.
Naturally, everything's being resolved now, but that wasn't the case while I was trying to get out my important work. And I had promised it to a client, thinking I had plenty of time to meet my self-imposed deadline, which I did under normal circumstances. To say I was impatient is being to easy on myself. As the day wore on, I bounced around from impatient, to nasty, to angry, to almost despairing.
So where am I going with this? I'm going to that yard outside the high priest's house. And I'm reading Luke's version of how Peter denies Our Lord. And there I am not once thinking of Our Lord, asking for His help. I didn't even offer it up - right after telling you how I did offer up the original crash and all it's original consequences a few days before. It's kind of like Peter denying Our Lord right after Our Lord tells him he's going to do it.
Ah, maybe I'm making too big a deal about this. And in the end, I just stayed with the problems, worked until late Friday and got the work to the client, after apologizing for being late. I even thanked Our Lord - after the fact - when it was all over...when it was easy to say "Thank you," when it was easy to think of Our Lord.
But before that, in the heat of the battle, it was like He didn't exist - like I didn't know Him. It was kind of like Peter saying "I don't know the man" one, two, three times. Only for me it was a lot more than three throughout the course of that miserable day.
When will I ever learn? Well, my only hope at this point is that it's Lent, and maybe Our Lord sent this miserable day my way to shake me up a bit and remind me I've got a long way to go if I'm every going to grow closer to Him. Maybe He's helping me to re-focus on my Lenten resolutions. Yeah, maybe that's it.
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