How Financial Anxiety Undermines The Family
Financial anxiety creates problems for most people. One of the worst is how it eats away at family life. Since we're in tough times now, financial anxiety is attacking more families.
We Catholic men really need to learn to deal with financial anxiety. Of course, not being anxious would be best. I've met a few men in my life who were blessed with an inner strength and peace. Even when they faced tough times, nothing seemed to ruffle them. I'm not one of them.
For example, if you're unemployed but have inner peace, you can face the inevitable difficulties better than we who tend to get more anxious. Good for you - and thank God.
As for the rest of us, we have to understand that financial troubles wreck more marriages than any other factor. That's right. You'd think it would be cheating on your spouse, or getting bored with your spouse or something like that. But it's not. Financial problems and the anxiety they create are #1.
And guys, it's really up to us to face financial problems (even when we're anxious), and somehow keep our families safe from the bad stuff that can happen to some people.
Sometimes a guy gets bitter and resentful if he loses his job and can't find another. He takes it out on his wife and kids. Or maybe it's not so much that you take it out on them; maybe you just get kind of depressed. You wind up not talking much, being isolated from the family. You brood.
The point is we can't let this happen. Or if it's already happened, we've just got to somehow snap out of it. I've been through this more than once. Some times I reacted better than others. But I always knew when I was acting badly and asked God to help me straighten out.
Of course, God didn't always respond the way I'd have preferred. At times, it really felt like He just left me hanging. Here I am asking for a job, or more money (because I wasn't earning enough at the time), and there's God just not responding. That's the way it seemed to me at the time.
I have to tell you, it was really hard believing that a) God heard me b) He decided not to do exactly what I asked Him to do. I mean, what's up with that? Why are You ignoring me, God?
You probably know what I mean here. It's the old problem. Jesus tells us to ask the Father for what we want. He tells us the Father will provide. We ask. We don't get exactly what we want. We think Our Father somehow forgot about us. Worse, we wonder whether He's really there at all - or at least whether He heard us at all.
I would keep telling myself that God is most likely helping me in ways I can't understand right away. Maybe He knows that deep inside I'm a lot stronger than I think, or a lot stronger than I was acting at the time. He wants me to see that. He wants me to overcome adversity and grow into a better man. He wanted me to grow closer to Him, to learn to really rely totally on Him.
The fact is, I knew all these things and still had a lot of trouble keeping the faith. There were times when I just threw up my hands. Maybe I was too sinful and God was punishing me. Maybe God wasn't really the "Father" after all - just some impersonal force or something. Maybe all this Catholic stuff wasn't true. Maybe there was no God.
I hope that in your case, you don't take things this far. I hope your faith is stronger than mine has been at times.
Listen: There are no easy answers here. There's no secret or technique I can share with you that's going to make things better if you're suffering from financial trouble or anxiety right now. Sorry.
But one thing you should know is you're not alone. I suspect there are many thousands - if not millions - of Catholic men going through this right now. At the very least let's all pray for each other. We all know the feeling. And we can all pray for the grace to remain faithful. We can all pray for the virtue of Hope and learn to trust totally in Our Father to "give us this day our daily bread." Being Catholic was never meant to be easy.
We Catholic men really need to learn to deal with financial anxiety. Of course, not being anxious would be best. I've met a few men in my life who were blessed with an inner strength and peace. Even when they faced tough times, nothing seemed to ruffle them. I'm not one of them.
For example, if you're unemployed but have inner peace, you can face the inevitable difficulties better than we who tend to get more anxious. Good for you - and thank God.
As for the rest of us, we have to understand that financial troubles wreck more marriages than any other factor. That's right. You'd think it would be cheating on your spouse, or getting bored with your spouse or something like that. But it's not. Financial problems and the anxiety they create are #1.
And guys, it's really up to us to face financial problems (even when we're anxious), and somehow keep our families safe from the bad stuff that can happen to some people.
Sometimes a guy gets bitter and resentful if he loses his job and can't find another. He takes it out on his wife and kids. Or maybe it's not so much that you take it out on them; maybe you just get kind of depressed. You wind up not talking much, being isolated from the family. You brood.
The point is we can't let this happen. Or if it's already happened, we've just got to somehow snap out of it. I've been through this more than once. Some times I reacted better than others. But I always knew when I was acting badly and asked God to help me straighten out.
Of course, God didn't always respond the way I'd have preferred. At times, it really felt like He just left me hanging. Here I am asking for a job, or more money (because I wasn't earning enough at the time), and there's God just not responding. That's the way it seemed to me at the time.
I have to tell you, it was really hard believing that a) God heard me b) He decided not to do exactly what I asked Him to do. I mean, what's up with that? Why are You ignoring me, God?
You probably know what I mean here. It's the old problem. Jesus tells us to ask the Father for what we want. He tells us the Father will provide. We ask. We don't get exactly what we want. We think Our Father somehow forgot about us. Worse, we wonder whether He's really there at all - or at least whether He heard us at all.
I would keep telling myself that God is most likely helping me in ways I can't understand right away. Maybe He knows that deep inside I'm a lot stronger than I think, or a lot stronger than I was acting at the time. He wants me to see that. He wants me to overcome adversity and grow into a better man. He wanted me to grow closer to Him, to learn to really rely totally on Him.
The fact is, I knew all these things and still had a lot of trouble keeping the faith. There were times when I just threw up my hands. Maybe I was too sinful and God was punishing me. Maybe God wasn't really the "Father" after all - just some impersonal force or something. Maybe all this Catholic stuff wasn't true. Maybe there was no God.
I hope that in your case, you don't take things this far. I hope your faith is stronger than mine has been at times.
Listen: There are no easy answers here. There's no secret or technique I can share with you that's going to make things better if you're suffering from financial trouble or anxiety right now. Sorry.
But one thing you should know is you're not alone. I suspect there are many thousands - if not millions - of Catholic men going through this right now. At the very least let's all pray for each other. We all know the feeling. And we can all pray for the grace to remain faithful. We can all pray for the virtue of Hope and learn to trust totally in Our Father to "give us this day our daily bread." Being Catholic was never meant to be easy.
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