Does How You Feel Really Matter?
How you feel sometimes makes or breaks a day at work. At least it does me. Some days I sail in and get right down to the business at hand. Some days, I drag myself in and can hardly get started. I kind of sputter like an old car on a cold morning, when you go to start it up.
There are those who say you should "ignore" your feelings. Others harp about "getting in touch" with your feelings. I think both make some sense, in certain circumstances. But I'm talking about something else here.
Men (and women too) have always dealt with physical ups and downs, of course. Joy and depression - along with all the feelings in between- are part of our human make-up. But I think these days emotional ups and downs are more exaggerated. We're in the age of anxiety. Our nerves get on edge more than they did with our ancestors.
A few years back, we spent a week in a pretty rustic environment (at least for us city folk) one summer . No air conditioning, lots of mosquitoes buzzing us constantly - even indoors - and (for us) a fair amount of outdoor activities. Looking back, it was interesting, though I don't think I'd do it again.
But one thing I did notice was that I felt "alive" in a different kind of way. Without the conveniences and the routines of my normal life, everything was a kind of challenge. For sure, there was no time for the typical emotional ups and downs that come and go every day in my "normal" life. The only anxiety I felt was keeping track of our young kids to make sure they were OK. All the typical anxieties of everyday life in the city, of daily work in an office, etc., - all that was literally 500 miles away.
So back to how we live and work these days - in the age of anxiety. I've read that in the past "nerves" didn't exist the way they do now. When I read St Paul, for example, say "I will chastise my body and bring it into subjection, lest, having preached to others, I myself become a castaway," or when I think of the kinds of mortifications and austerities practiced by some saints - especially in years gone by - it strikes me just how different their lives were from mine.
One quick example from St Paul's day and ours: unemployment. Somehow, I can't picture St Paul sitting in an office fretting as people are laid off all around him - a common occurrence and feeling these days for so many of us.
Anyway, our lives are filled with anxious feelings, mood swings, fits of temper, even despondency or, worse, depression. Look at all the folks on medication these days!
You can brush it off and grit your teeth, but, face it, it's all around us. And all this moodiness and anxiousness affects you - at least it does me.
So here's something we can all do today - something specific to our times: bear with yourself. Don't lose patience with yourself.
I can tell you I'm always losing patience with myself, especially if the day doesn't go just right, or my feelings start swinging up and down. What's wrong with me? Why am I so temperamental? Somehow it just doesn't feel "manly."
But that's all a waste of time. It makes me self-centered; it takes away from time I spend thinking of God and "being there" for my family. So it's best if I just bear with myself. It's best not to lose patience with myself.
In fact, maybe it's a kind of virtue we can all practice in this age of anxiety. Don't lose patience with yourself. Bear with those mood swings, those "nerves" that the age of anxiety brings to us. When you feel rotten, don't add to it by getting down on yourself.
There's plenty to do at work. There's plenty going on with your family that calls for a father's love, or discipline, or counsel. There's plenty of folks out there who could use a bit of help - not only money, but maybe a smile or some encouragement.
So do your best to bear with your own feelings - not focus on them or fret about them. You'll be practicing a kind of virtue, helping others - and giving greater glory to God.
There are those who say you should "ignore" your feelings. Others harp about "getting in touch" with your feelings. I think both make some sense, in certain circumstances. But I'm talking about something else here.
Men (and women too) have always dealt with physical ups and downs, of course. Joy and depression - along with all the feelings in between- are part of our human make-up. But I think these days emotional ups and downs are more exaggerated. We're in the age of anxiety. Our nerves get on edge more than they did with our ancestors.
A few years back, we spent a week in a pretty rustic environment (at least for us city folk) one summer . No air conditioning, lots of mosquitoes buzzing us constantly - even indoors - and (for us) a fair amount of outdoor activities. Looking back, it was interesting, though I don't think I'd do it again.
But one thing I did notice was that I felt "alive" in a different kind of way. Without the conveniences and the routines of my normal life, everything was a kind of challenge. For sure, there was no time for the typical emotional ups and downs that come and go every day in my "normal" life. The only anxiety I felt was keeping track of our young kids to make sure they were OK. All the typical anxieties of everyday life in the city, of daily work in an office, etc., - all that was literally 500 miles away.
So back to how we live and work these days - in the age of anxiety. I've read that in the past "nerves" didn't exist the way they do now. When I read St Paul, for example, say "I will chastise my body and bring it into subjection, lest, having preached to others, I myself become a castaway," or when I think of the kinds of mortifications and austerities practiced by some saints - especially in years gone by - it strikes me just how different their lives were from mine.
One quick example from St Paul's day and ours: unemployment. Somehow, I can't picture St Paul sitting in an office fretting as people are laid off all around him - a common occurrence and feeling these days for so many of us.
Anyway, our lives are filled with anxious feelings, mood swings, fits of temper, even despondency or, worse, depression. Look at all the folks on medication these days!
You can brush it off and grit your teeth, but, face it, it's all around us. And all this moodiness and anxiousness affects you - at least it does me.
So here's something we can all do today - something specific to our times: bear with yourself. Don't lose patience with yourself.
I can tell you I'm always losing patience with myself, especially if the day doesn't go just right, or my feelings start swinging up and down. What's wrong with me? Why am I so temperamental? Somehow it just doesn't feel "manly."
But that's all a waste of time. It makes me self-centered; it takes away from time I spend thinking of God and "being there" for my family. So it's best if I just bear with myself. It's best not to lose patience with myself.
In fact, maybe it's a kind of virtue we can all practice in this age of anxiety. Don't lose patience with yourself. Bear with those mood swings, those "nerves" that the age of anxiety brings to us. When you feel rotten, don't add to it by getting down on yourself.
There's plenty to do at work. There's plenty going on with your family that calls for a father's love, or discipline, or counsel. There's plenty of folks out there who could use a bit of help - not only money, but maybe a smile or some encouragement.
So do your best to bear with your own feelings - not focus on them or fret about them. You'll be practicing a kind of virtue, helping others - and giving greater glory to God.
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